Super Glue

The nike on my right foot is starting to separate with its sole, so I need some super glue to fix it. This has been going on for a while, but I've never used super glue on shoes unless I really needed to. I also thought about getting a new pair, but it seems that they cost a lot more than super glues. I love old shoes, they remind me of old buddies.

Hell's Kitchen

I was watching a recorded Hell's Kitchen episode today, Chef Ramsey has made me want to become a chef, not because I want to cook like him, but because I'd like to be able to yell at people. Robert the fat chef went to the hospital in this episode. I think he got a heart attack. He has made me so not want to be fat. These are the two things I have learned from watching this episode of Hell's Kitchen. I hope you will watch the show too, then you might learn a few things like I have.

Shopping at Albertsons

Today Albertsons had watermelons for sale at $2.99 each, so I went there and really dug into their piles of watermelons, moving them around, in and out for half an hour and picked the largest three. They were dirty watermelons so I got dirt all over me when that was done. There was someone who kept asking people around him if they knew how to pick watermelons, cause he wanted one that wasn't sweet, which was strange to me, cause I've always wanted the sweetest watermelons, but I guess he was on a diet because he was obese. After I had checked out, the cashier gave me a brochure for some wine glasses, and 3 stamps. Apparently if I could collect like 40 of these stamps then I can get two wine glasses for free! Oh boy am I excited! I want these glasses so badly now, even though I never drink wine. Maybe I can use them for soda, milk, or orange juice. Anyway if any of you ever get these wine glass stamps at Albertsons please send them to me, because then I can get two free wine glasses, which are worth $9.99 according to the brochure. Thank you very much.

The Post-Easter Post

Easter doesn't make sense because rabbits are mammals and do not lay eggs, so I didn't write a post about it. There was a big thunderstorm in my area this morning. Whenever it is pouring outside I think of the homeless and eat ice cream, but I ran out of ice cream so I only thought about the homeless today. It may sound strange but thinking about the homeless is bitter and ice cream is sweet, and the bitter sweetness makes me a better philosopher than I already am.

Happy New Year!

The holiday is finally over as the leftovers are gone, and I have made couple new year's resolutions which I will not publish here just in case I fail, however I have learned a new trick in the new year and I will share that instead. See, sometimes I forget that I have left the stove on and the smoke detector goes off as food is burnt, and this is very annoying because it keeps beeping for a long time even after the accident is taken care of, as smoke doesn't dissipate all that fast even with good ventilation. The new trick I have learnt is to simply take the batteries out of the smoke detector, and this will render it inactive, no more annoying beeping sounds. The human nose is at least as good as the smoke detector anyway, this is proven by the fact that in the past I have noticed the smoking scent everytime before the smoke detector actually went off, including this afternoon, so the smoke detector is very much useless. I hope this trick will help whoever reads my blogs. Also I feel it is necessary to warn those who intend to use this trick, for some smoke detectors are connected to house power supply directly in addition to the batteries, and might electricute whoever tinker with them if they don't know what they are doing. Happy new year everyone!

A Father's Day Poem

This one I have titled "A Peaceful Sunday Afternoon," happy father's day everyone!

Daddy's snoring though he denies,
his glasses thick and heavy.
liberated them I have,
optical magic bright and shiny.

Superman's eyes can shoot laser,
daddy's glasses are ants killer.
still a little bright, still a little shiny,
but dragging them thru the mud makes them dirty.

Oh daddy you are my hero,
though you can't cook or sew.
A little revenge for your snoring,
now your glasses need cleaning.

Just another Sunday afternoon,
from a memory so many years ago,
like looking thru old glasses,
blurry.

Earth Day

Today is earth day, so I am going to save the planet by "Reduce Recycle & Renew," or was that "Reduce, Reuse & Recycle" or "Recycle, Reuse, & Renew?" Actually I am pretty sure reduce and recycle are in there somewhere, so the last one is incorrect, but then, is it really? Apparently there are a lot of misinformation out there about the earth day, and this has confused and incapacitated me and many likes of me to do anything to save the planet. I guess I will just have to celebrate the earth day when someone has sorted out this whole mess. Meanwhile I will just perform the common denominator -- "Recycle." Well, I always take the trash out, so I am a hero just like captain planet himself, and this makes me feel very good about the earth day.